Originally posted by The Realist
And now, in a change to our normal output, it’s the culture slot. This week sees the return of our ever-popular book review.
The Realist writes:
I’ve just read a book entitled ‘Leviticus’. What a downpour of shit. It took me forever and was as painful as glass to digest. I find it amazing that this cockdribble has been published in the first place – it reads like the daily cooking routine of someone with OCD:
‘The carcases of every beast which divideth the hoof, and is not clovenfooted, nor cheweth the cud, are unclean unto you: every one that toucheth them shall be unclean.’
‘And he that beareth the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: they are unclean unto you.’
‘And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.’
Mind you, I’m with them on the last one – I have many, many issues with shellfish however the author then goes on to bash our friends from across the Channel:
'the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail, and the mole. These are unclean to you’
And I’m also confused about the author’s attitude to matters carnal. Apparently, post coitus:
‘every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean’
Well, that may seem like reasonable advice in, say, a sterile, hospital environment, but what about the film set of ‘Daisy-Chaining Anal First Timers II – Charlene and The Chocolate Factory’ – can a whole film studio be unclean? I’m not sure how that works.
This book has left me disappointed. I’m assured that it’s part of a wider work of books, which I would strongly suggest avoiding at all costs.