Monday, January 23, 2006

Georgie Peorgie pudding and pie, wore a leotard and made us cry

Oh mercy! Just as I thought my contempt for George Galloway had reached its apotheosis last week with that nauseating role-playing milk-lapping incident, it turns out there's more. It would seem that, just as the universe is infinite in dimension, so too are the possibilities given to us to deride this man still further. And we would not be fulfilling our civilian responsibilities were we to let them pass unmentioned, would we? If we were to miss an opportunity to heap scorn on this egregious narcissist it would be a serious dereliction of duty, wouldn't it?

So come, and bring your trowel, as we scrape the bottom of this particularly battered barrel still further. Perhaps we will find some traces of Galloway's dignity amongst the debris?

Actually, we won't. Because the scant amount still remaining after he pretended to be a cat licking milk from Rula Lenska's cupped hands was obliterated over the weekend in the latest ritual humiliation inflicted on this pitiful crew by the producers of the show. The housemates had to convey an emotion using the medium of dance. George, paired with the equally hideous Pete Burns (sort of a cross between Simon Weston and the Bride of Frankenstein), had to depict 'the emotions of bewilderment when a small puppy won't come to you' via robotic dance.

This man has no dignity.

Oh the humanity! The look of bewilderment on his face! Perhaps he is justifying it all to himself internally by thinking "It doesn't matter. I'm still getting my message across. I'm reaching a bigger audience, I'm getting the chance to engage with the youth, to tell them the truth about Iraq/Tony Blair/American imperialism." This is probably the funniest aspect of the whole charade: he's completely oblivious to the fact that all of his political speeches have been ruthlessly edited out before transmission. That said, I actually suspect he hasn't been talking about these things at all - he's too bogged down in petty house politics. What a complete waste of his time.

Still, it's amused the rest of us enormously and I look forward to seeing him booted out on Wednesday night. Although I'm still perplexed he's lasted this long.

Perhaps on his exit he could treat us all to a reprise of this task? I'd like to see 'the emotion of realising that even your most ardent supporters will never take you seriously again'. Set to the Cha Cha.

Altogether everyone: Miaow!

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Devil's Advocate said...

Apparently Chantelle asked him what "the place with the big green seats" was like...

Surely there should be a by-election after this?!

Citizen Sane said...

Well, given his attendance record, I doubt he can even remember.

Forget the by-election: I'm hoping that his constituents chase him out of Bethnal Green & Bow with sharp, shitty sticks. In red leotards.

Mr Eugenides said...

His humiliation is nearing its end: he'll be evicted Wednesday. The long vigil for Palestine nears its end.

In the meantime, his last hours are descending into recrimination and backbiting, accusing other housemates of being liars (rich, that) and cheats, and being bitched about in turn.

I almost wish he could stay a bit longer...

pedro said...

I thought everyone knew the scot's penchant for leotards.... after a few McEwans anyhow.