So, another Monday, another week of work, another uphill struggle to the weekend ahead of us. What news nuggets might we chew over today?
- The Blair-Brown feud raises its ugly head again. Yawn, yawn, yawn. Like everyone else in this country (with the possible exception of Alan Milburn), I am bored shitless hearing about this. Clearly there is a problem between the two: neither camp even bothers denying it anymore, instead disputing only the extent of the divide. Blair likened the coverage of the affair to a soap opera. Possibly. But at least soap operas have alternating storylines sometimes. There has to be a better way of settling this. I propose an arm-wrestle, live on BBC1, after Eastenders tomorrow evening. My money’s on the chunky Scotsman.
- The Liberal Democrats have launched their manifesto for the upcoming local elections on 4th May. Offering “fresh choices”, they pledge to cut crime and scrap council tax. Sounds great doesn’t it? Oh, but hang on. I see some problems. Firstly, you would no more expect the Lib Dems to cut crime than you would expect Wayne Rooney to solve Fermat’s last theorem. This is the same party that, not too long ago, advocated sending young car crime offenders on little driving weekends when they should, of course, be repeatedly beaten with shitty sticks. Secondly, they intend to replace the council tax with the local income tax which, by many accounts, would be even more expensive for the average tax payer. To be avoided.
- Regarding the whole issue of party ‘loans’, I think state funding of parties is the best solution. By no means a perfect one, but definitely preferable to the current situation. Our political parties should not be in thrall to business, powerful lobby interests, trade unions or secret individual backers. Regulated state funding would ensure maximum party independence; individual donations or ‘loans’ of any size should be forbidden. That should clean the shady bastards up once and for all.
- Meanwhile, in a rare excursion for me into football, it’s great to see a potential title race for the Premiership opening up after a full season of dominance by dull, dull, dull Chelsea. It will also be nice to see that irritating tosser Jose Mourinho and his huge squad of dullards actually breaking into a sweat. It’s just a shame that the late challenge is coming from the Great Satan itself: Manchester United. Rock and a hard place, rock and a hard place.
- Well, Monday is starting to draw to a close. Just a few more hours to grind out, then it’s off home to listen to new offerings from The Flaming Lips and the inimitable Morrissey.